findingnoo

• |Trigger warning.| • The following contains adult content, adult language, my experience with physical, mental, verbal, and emotional abuse, and mental health struggles. Reader discretion is advised. ❤ 🌱 It’s been over for 8 years. And only this past weekend did I realize what actually happened during and maybe most importantly, in the aftermath. During the relationship, I was so secretive. I didn’t let on to anybody what it was like living in that house. The hell that was daily life. I knew deep down that if my family knew what I was going through, they would have pulled up, packed my shit, and brought me home. - this being one of the first acknowledgements of my abusive relationship with myself -__- Each day was unpredictable in the worst way. Anger, outbursts, and verbal, mental and emotional abuse from both of them. I was living with a grenade surrounded by land mines. When it ended, my family now in the loop, I was unable to have anyone talk badly about them. I co...

• |Trigger warning.| • The following contains adult content, my experience with mental, verbal and emotional abuse, substance abuse, and mental health struggles. Reader discretion is advised. ❤ 🌱 I’ve replaced one form of abuse with another. For the first time in my adult life, I am free. Totally and completely free. I was caged in for so long but now, the cage door is open, and I can leave without any worry of consequences. What a concept! Since I turned 18, I have been in abusive relationships. They may differ in their type, but they have been abusive nonetheless. Since I ended my last abusive relationship, I have had time to myself, have found a loving partner and generally have the freedom to do whatever my heart desires. But that hasn’t happened. It may sound ~sick~ but the unhealed, traumatized parts of me, miss the abuse. Maybe that’s too honest, but it’s my truth (and it may be something you need to hear). So now I have created my own cage. I began smoking. For o...