2am. tears, realizations and hot chocolate.
It's 2:28 am and I am laying with my head in a tear soaked pillow. I have been crying for approximately 40 minutes. About what? About everything. Literally. When I get into this loop, everything comes to my mind. I think about all of the bad choices I have made. I torment myself thinking that no one cares about me. I bully myself about my weight. I compare my life to others and show myself how little I have accomplished with my existence. I go over and over and over why they haven't text me back in 4 days. I cry as silently as possibly so as not to wake my mum and brother peacefully sleeping. I gasp for air as my lungs feel as though they have never been so empty. The tears stream down my face. I clutch at my arms, my face, my blanket; anything that I can reach. I think of how today had been an okay day. How I was laughing with my brother just a number of hours ago. How I was singing and dancing to Little Mix in the shower. How I was cuddling my Pip cuddly toy while watching a ...